The Influence of Communication on Marital Stability Among Couples
The Influence of Communication on Marital Stability Among Couples
Abstract of The Influence of Communication on Marital Stability Among Couples
The study examined the influence of communication on marital stability among couples in Surulere Local Government Area of Lagos Metropolis. In this study, some relevant and extensive literatures were review under relevant sub-headings. The descriptive research survey was used to assess the respondents; opinions using the questionnaire and the sampling technique. In this study, 100 (one hundred) respondents were selected and used as samples to represent the population of the study.
A total of three (3) null hypotheses were formulated and tested in this study. Also, t-test and ANOVA statistical tools were used to test and analyses the null hypotheses at 0.05 level of significance. At the end of the exercise, the following results were obtained: There is a significant influence of communication on marital stability. There is a significant influence of contemporary issues on marital stability and finally, the third hypothesis revealed that there is no major significant influence of marital duration on marital stability. In conclusion, this means that communication among couples significantly influences marital stability. The study also recommends that couples should open lines of communication in their marriage over matters, including seemingly trivial ones.
Chapter One of The Influence of Communication on Marital Stability Among Couples
INTRODUCTION
BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY
Communication can be said to be the glue that holds the world, continents, countries, states, societies, communities, people, the list is endless, together. Take the example of a group of tourists viewing a picturesque landscape. Although the entire group beholds the same scene, each person sees it differently. Why? Each individual has a different vantage point. No two persons are standing at the same location. Furthermore, not everyone focuses on the same portion of the scene. Each person finds a different aspect to be particularly intriguing (Watchtower August, 1993).
The same can be said of relationships. Even when they exist among the very best of friends, no two people share precisely the same look on matters; siblings, friends, relations and so on. Not even husbands and wives, the subject of this research study, have the same view on matters. The dissimilar perspectives can become a source of bitter contention. In fact, among factors cited to have contributed to divorce include personality incompatibility, lack of open communication and negotiation between married couples (Carter & McGoldrick, 1998; Gottman, 1994; Kaslow, 1996; Rutter, 1998; Treadway, 1989; Kabali, 2006). Even the book, the Bible supports that view, as evidence of this is found at 1Corinthians 7:28, where it states frankly, “Those who marry will have pain and grief” (The New English Bible).
Marriage has been defined by Monroe (2003), as a relihious duty and is consequently a moral safeguard as well as a social necessity. In fact when people make choices to marry, they want to live happily ever after. They want a loving, happy, successful marriage. After they have been married for a while, and the novelty has worn off, they tend to discover that marriage does not maintain itself (Esere, Yusuf & Omotosho, 2010). Marriage takes work from both spouses to stay. Marriage is the most difficult maze to ever get lost in (Angel, 2008) if marriage mates do not work their differences. Marriage can be like heaven on earth, just as it could be described as a living hell. It all depends on what one makes of it. A successful marriage is like food. It depends on many key ingredients to be successful. These ingredients include such attributes as trust, love, time, friendship, understanding, honesty, loyalty, sincerity and, above all, effective communication.
Marital stability can be defined as the endurance of a marriage due to the cooperation of both husband and wife. In fact, marital stability is viewed as a function of the comparison between one’s best available marital alternative and one’s marital outcome (Lenthal, 2009). A marriage without effective communication is very likely to crumble.
Communication is a life wire of marriage relationship or any other meaningful relationship (Esere, 2002, 2006). It is the elixir for ailing marital relationships (Olagunju & Eweniyi, 2002). With so many marriages ending tragically in divorce (Adegoke & Esere, 1998), it is more important now to work on the communication between husband and wife. The way couples deal with their inevitable conflicts, as a result of cohabitation, seems to be a powerful predictor of couples’ adjustment and stability in their marital relationships (Lazarides, Belanger & Sabourin, 2010).
Marital instability has been linked with more negativity and less positivity usually as conflicts; negative reciprocity and difficulty getting out of the negative reciprocity cycle and more importantly, for the purpose of this study, non-verbal communication and verbal communication have been observed in unstable marriages. Unhappy couples display, among others, more criticism, dominance and withdrawal, and less support and problem-solving behaviours, and the demand-withdraw pattern of communication has been linked repeatedly to marital dissatisfaction and satisfaction (Lazarides, Belanger & Sabourin, 2010). These same set of people usually are unable to function well in their work places as they carry their marital problems to their work places, constituting a nuisance to their employers. These and many more problems escalate when there is no communication, and many problems are resolved when there is effective communication in a marriage. It is on this premise that it was thought important by, any successive researchers to investigate the relationship between communication and marital stability, as well as the influence of communication on marital stability.
STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM
Millions of people today have trouble making friends and even family bonds. This is because we live in a world where family members come home only to sleep and eat, and then dash out. Seldom do they actually sit around a table to enjoy a meal together. The sense of family, belonging is missing. There is a gross lack of communication as a result of no significant conversation. It often gets worse between husbands and wives.
As a result of societal, economic and governmental changes, problems in marriage have surfaced on a grander scale. There has been notable increase in the divorce, separation of couples, remarriages of divorce parents and children living in stepfamilies as a divorce (Carter & McGoldrick, 1998; Lofas & Sova, 1995). The element responsible could be improper communication (Eniba, 1999). Some couples lack the way with which to express themselves through communication, leading to misunderstandings between each other.
Lack of communication in marriages is a cause for serious concern on the part of the couple(s) involved other members of the family, the immediate society and the world in general. This is because, the home is the nucleus of the society and marriage is the major avenue whereby the society is populated by the number of children that are born in such marriages, thus marital instability, due to lack of communication, produces negative multiplier effect on the society (Esere, Yusuf & Omotosho, 2010).
A lot of individuals consider divorce to be the solution to such marital problems so they opt for divorce. As such, there are a lot of divorced individuals in society (Kabali, 2006). It comes as no surprise, then, that Rutter (1998) called the last three decades a transition period into the “the divorce revolution”. Marital distress, conflict, family uncertainty among couples could threaten societal values, an embarrassment to themselves, children and their society at large (Undiyaundeye, 2006).
Marital instability affects the society, going by the rate of divorce and the direct impact on the children, who, in most cases, grow to be social misfits and a nuisance. The tragedy of the matter is that this situation this occurs on a nationwide scale (Agim, 1997; Obe, 1997; Carew, 1995). Marital instability contributes to the spread of single-parent families, which in turn leads to social problems such as poverty, crime, substance abuse (by both parents and children and declining academic standards) (Blankenhorn, 1995; Glenn, 1996; Popenpoe, 1996; Amato, 2000). Psychological effects of marital instability include decline in happiness and more conflict. In fact, they seem to experience experience sadness, be upset (Harkonen, 2013). Marital instability and divorce can have important economic consequences, especially for women. In the case of divorce, economic dependency in the former marriage tends to lead to larger economic losses during and after divorce, whereas, the sole provider may even gain more economically (DiPrete and McManus & DiPrete, 2001; Uunk, 2004; Harkonen, 2013).
The end result of any case of marital instability is a breakdown of the union or divorce, home desertion, juvenile delinquency, truancy, school drop outs, lukewarm attitude to study, indiscipline, etc (Igbo, 1997, Nwobi 1997; Igbo, 2000). Lack of proper communication could lead to problems that if not handled succinctly and cooperatively by couples may degenerate to crisis levels, resulting in emotional distance between the couple, low self esteem, poor nutrition, children’s lack of respect for authority, loss of discipline or parental control, low standard of living, withholding of sex from spouse, remarriage, divorce, spouse battering, sexual abuse, incest, rape power tussle and many more. Clearly, then, the need for the study for the need for effective communication in marriage cannot be overemphasized.